Sam: So, did Dad start our gang or were our grandparents in on it too?

Justin: Dad didn't start it. He built it into what it is, though.

Sam: Uh-huh.

Justin: He's a great man.

Sam: I'm sorry, it must be very hard to be so far away from him when he's in the hospital.

Justin: He'd kill me if I sat by his hospital bed instead of getting to work. The Jade Dragons aren’t a gang.

Sam: Right. Asian Mafia. No, I get it. Yeah. So dad's kind of like the Chinese Don Corleone.

Justin: We're a society, or triad. We can trace our heritage back to the Qing Dynasty; a secret society of rebels who wanted to restore the Ming back to power.

Sam: Wow.

Justin: They were freedom fighters who used crime to further their political aims. Nowadays we're incorporated. Some of us are on drugs, gambling, prostitution, smuggling whatever the people need, for a price, but the one thing that hasn't changed is that secrecy is our strength. You could walk by a guy like Ba, a red pole, and never even know that he can make you disappear with a word. Even other red poles don't know what the rivals look like, or their names.

Sam: Well, you know Sleepy Chan's name.

Justin: Only because we've been fighting for the same turf for years. That's not his real name.

Sam: Right. Yeah.

Justin: Even if that was his real last name, there's a million Chans, and half of them are sleepy. A single triad is like a hornet's nest. You can wipe one out but unless you know where every nest is, there'll always be more hornets.

Sam: I don't want to be a hornet though. No, hornets are jerks. What about a bumblebee? Could we be more like bumblebees? Yeah, no one's afraid of them and they get to have sex with flowers.

Justin: Do you like this (beep) Hyundai?

Sam: Well, I'd be lying if I didn't dream of owning an Aventador LP 780-4 in lime green with the performance package, but I don't think about it too much, and they're not very practical.

Justin: I have one of those on order, but in Viola Parsifae purple.

Sam: No you don't! Shut up.

Justin: Yes I do.

Sam: What? Shut up!

Justin: This'll be my second.

Sam: You have two of them? Shut. Up. Are you serious?

Justin: Still think it's so bad to be a hornet?

Sam: No. Yeah, it sounds like it's got its perks.

Justin: With perks comes responsibility.

Sam: Okay.

Justin: Every jade dragon has to prove as three things: a mountain-

Sam: Yep. Mountain.

Justin: ... a tiger-

Sam: Tiger.

Justin: ... and a king.

Sam: Okay.

Justin: Stop repeating me.

Sam: Okay.

Justin: A mountain doesn't say (beep) when pressured. A tiger can knock a man out with a single blow. And a king always puts his people before himself.

Sam: Yeah, I'm not any of those things. Except maybe the king? Yeah, no, I guess I'll just stick with my Hyundai.

Justin: If you had stayed in Taiwan, Dad would have put you through the same tests and training he put me through. You may look like a child who gets bullied a lot under a swing. It's in your blood, Bruce.

Sam: Dad gave you tests? Like what?

Justin: Once I got stopped by cops on the way to school. They said I had killed someone and that they had evidence, handcuffed me in the back of a car, parked in an abandoned garage. They told me that if I confessed, that they'd let me eat, call Ba. I'm scared, but I didn't say a word, and I was there for three days. Three. And on the third, I woke up to see Ba standing outside. He let me out, told me the yellow paper was burned, that I was now a society man. I got dumplings.

Sam: Dad sounds like a real dick.

Justin: Never, ever talk about him that way. You're stupid.

Sam: I am so sorry about that. That was dumb.

Justin: Yeah.

Sam: Yeah. Wait, where did you poop?

Justin: What?

Sam: Where'd you poop those three days?

Justin: Well, I held it.

Sam: You held it for three days?!

Justin: Easy. I've done a week. It's part of your training. We'll get to it.